Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Counting Down My Vacation Days

This time next week, I will be in the Bahamas, soaking up the sun with my friends. I will not think about this job for one iota of a second.

An administrative assistant job opened up in the IT department, but I can't apply to internal jobs until I've been here a year. That's about 35 days away. Loopholes. I also want to see if they would give me above the Midpoint, because I already make that. I miss working at DTI. I wish I were still there.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

I Closed my Meetup Group & My Outlook

Or, at least, I cancelled my organizer subscription. I had the three people join, but there was no contact from them, even when I sent out e-mails. So, it's whatever. I'm going to just keep going out little by little, keep in touch with people on AVEN (Asexuality Visibility & Education Network), and see what happens. I do still have a Spades & Arrows account, but that's bleh.

Two weeks ago, Grey's Anatomy had the BLEAKEST episode in the history of Grey's episodes, and that's saying a lot. It made me so depressed. It was the old couple. There were these two old surgeons, and the wife was having this surgery that might give her a little more time with her husband (I can't remember what the surgery was for; I just remember she was choosing between no surgery/dying and surgery/dying a little later). More time turned out to be 8 hours or so. She wanted to give her husband time to learn to do things for himself, and that was how his last scene ended. Owen was going to call him a cab, but he said, "No, I have to learn to do things on my own now," and we watch him shuffle sadly out of the hospital to the corner to catch a cab.

That scene right there made me think: well, what is the point of love?! And it's a fictional tv show! It just hurt my feelings so much. I can't imagine growing old with someone and then dealing with them dying before me, but I see it around me all the time. The widows/widowers keep living, but you know it's hard to. That is life, though.

I just don't like the odds.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

MeetUp Not Working

Well, I thought creating a MeetUp for demisexuals was a good idea, but one thing about Delawareans is their affinity for showing interest in something and then not actually acting on it. I still have 3 members, but no one RSVP'd to the last MeetUp I setup. I might try one more event, and then shut it down. It's money I could be using on something else right now.

Maybe they're all introverts and would rather not look at each other, ha. That possibility is huge. I did turn them to the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network, which is a bigger forum for aces and other a-spectrumites, so if I shut down unexpectedly, I won't feel badly about it. As a matter of fact, let me go visit there now.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Self-Evaluations and the Weekend

So today, I had to do a self-evaluation of my work performance. =\ I'd say I've never heard of such, but my mom's worked here since I was a child, and I've heard her complain about it. It's the dumbest thing you could make an employee do. One of the questions was do I see myself staying in this career in the next 1-3 years. I said no. Hopefully they keep me until I find another job.

My friend is opening for Marvin Sapp at the 76ers' Gospel Night this Friday. I'll be reading during the game. I'd love to just go to Paolo's, get a slice of pizza that won't cost me a foot, and go to the concert, but it's all or nothing.

While my younger sister and I are there being supportive and patient, my older sister is hosting her pre-wedding festivities (I'd very much like to catch her at the hookah bar, but Payday is next week), and Saturday is the Big Day! I'll get excited maybe as we're sitting there.

Friday, March 10, 2017

To Meet or Not To Meet??

Tomorrow is supposed to be the official first meeting for my Demis & Aces group. I don't know if anyone's going; they haven't RSVP'd so far, and the deadline is tonight. It's snowing here, so if it sticks, I don't want the person from Wilmington coming down here. People are notorious for getting in accidents in the snow here.

I'm also nervous about meeting new people. I joined the Asexuality Visibility & Education Network, an online community. The people are really nice there, but I just have to close my laptop, and they're gone. I can't do that with people face-to-face (only an impulsive introvert like me would start a group and then be chicken about it). So hopefully, all goes well. *shrug*

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Applying for Jobs

In other news, I am starting to apply to jobs that are more focused on writing.

I'm tired of being a professional secretary. Most of the time, I'm the middle man, and I'm the type of person who typically says, "Why don't you ask THEM," and unfortunately, it's my job to be the middle man.

Every day I wake up and realize I'm still an administrative assistant, I cringe and want to get back in bed, or run away and just write. I'm tired of taking messages, of sending out e-mails about when people want to meet, keeping a bunch of stuff that doesn't interest me in my headspace that's already pretty crowded.

So I'm praying that I'll see more jobs where writing is needed, so I can put myself out there.

Again, wish me luck!

I Made A Meetup

I decided to start a group on Meetup, as I didn't see any specifically for demisexuals or asexuals in my area. At first, I didn't know if anyone would join, but I wanted to be proactive with this and find others like me out here.We live in a world where "sex sells," and if we don't buy it there's no alternative, so it's difficult to brush off sometimes. These issues aren't something anyone else I know would understand. It seems small, but when you see it over and over again, and people ask you when you're going to find someone or why you're single, etc., etc. all the time, it can get frustrating.

So I created Demis & Aces of Delaware. The same day that the Meetup admins approved the group and broadcasted it, I had a request for someone to join! I was so thrilled. Sunday, I received another request! I hope there will be more to come. I think this will be good for me and for the others.

Wish me luck. <3