Thursday, May 18, 2017

This Can't Be Life

I was going to apply for this internal position in another department. When I tried the first time, it asked if I had been in my current position for at least 12 Months after my Initial Orientation Period. I thought that meant my Orientation. Turns out it means the 90 day period after I was hired. So I would have to wait another 3 months before I could apply to that position. Do you really think there's a chance it would still be there in 3 months? Or that I will be?


I hate this place. But I will keep my head up.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Yeah, I Need to Get Out of Here

I thought that maybe I just needed to actively settle into my job, but despite the good days, there are moments when I'm legitimately ready to walk out and not return. I don't like the number of people I have to constantly deal with. I don't like my director or the way he decides to phrase things when he talks to me. My Timehop shows me counting down to my leaving my last job (my last day was a year ago tomorrow), and now I'm regretting leaving it, even though I desperately needed a full time job. I keep thinking, "Well, what if I had looked harder for another part time?" Did I do all I needed to? I hate second guessing myself. In 5 days, I can apply to another department. Just 5. They'll go by quickly (hopefully not the weekend portion).

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Back to the old Grind

Aside from a cold I had, I thoroughly enjoyed my vacation. Didn't do any excursions or cruise activities, just took time to rest. My friends and I did go to the beach in Nassau, but the waves were obnoxious.

This week, I got back to the grind at work, spent a couple of days hating it. Then, I went to my church's revival, and the sermons were basically about your attitude when going through trials. I'll just do my best to be patient.

I registered at Ace-Book, a Facebook for Asexuals and A-Specs. I'll see where that leads.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Counting Down My Vacation Days

This time next week, I will be in the Bahamas, soaking up the sun with my friends. I will not think about this job for one iota of a second.


An administrative assistant job opened up in the IT department, but I can't apply to internal jobs until I've been here a year. That's about 35 days away. Loopholes. I also want to see if they would give me above the Midpoint, because I already make that. I miss working at DTI. I wish I were still there.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

I Closed my Meetup Group & My Outlook

Or, at least, I cancelled my organizer subscription. I had the three people join, but there was no contact from them, even when I sent out e-mails. So, it's whatever. I'm going to just keep going out little by little, keep in touch with people on AVEN (Asexuality Visibility & Education Network), and see what happens. I do still have a Spades & Arrows account, but that's bleh.


Two weeks ago, Grey's Anatomy had the BLEAKEST episode in the history of Grey's episodes, and that's saying a lot. It made me so depressed. It was the old couple. There were these two old surgeons, and the wife was having this surgery that might give her a little more time with her husband (I can't remember what the surgery was for; I just remember she was choosing between no surgery/dying and surgery/dying a little later). More time turned out to be 8 hours or so. She wanted to give her husband time to learn to do things for himself, and that was how his last scene ended. Owen was going to call him a cab, but he said, "No, I have to learn to do things on my own now," and we watch him shuffle sadly out of the hospital to the corner to catch a cab.


That scene right there made me think: well, what is the point of love?! And it's a fictional tv show! It just hurt my feelings so much. I can't imagine growing old with someone and then dealing with them dying before me, but I see it around me all the time. The widows/widowers keep living, but you know it's hard to. That is life, though.


I just don't like the odds.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

MeetUp Not Working

Well, I thought creating a MeetUp for demisexuals was a good idea, but one thing about Delawareans is their affinity for showing interest in something and then not actually acting on it. I still have 3 members, but no one RSVP'd to the last MeetUp I setup. I might try one more event, and then shut it down. It's money I could be using on something else right now.


Maybe they're all introverts and would rather not look at each other, ha. That possibility is huge. I did turn them to the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network, which is a bigger forum for aces and other a-spectrumites, so if I shut down unexpectedly, I won't feel badly about it. As a matter of fact, let me go visit there now.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Self-Evaluations and the Weekend

So today, I had to do a self-evaluation of my work performance. =\ I'd say I've never heard of such, but my mom's worked here since I was a child, and I've heard her complain about it. It's the dumbest thing you could make an employee do. One of the questions was do I see myself staying in this career in the next 1-3 years. I said no. Hopefully they keep me until I find another job.


My friend is opening for Marvin Sapp at the 76ers' Gospel Night this Friday. I'll be reading during the game. I'd love to just go to Paolo's, get a slice of pizza that won't cost me a foot, and go to the concert, but it's all or nothing.


While my younger sister and I are there being supportive and patient, my older sister is hosting her pre-wedding festivities (I'd very much like to catch her at the hookah bar, but Payday is next week), and Saturday is the Big Day! I'll get excited maybe as we're sitting there.